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[nefertitie]

did i ever tell u guys that in fifth grade my class wrote a play bc we were studying ancient greece? it was called persephone and the (not so hot) heroes. i played demeter. basically, persephone got kidnapped by kronos and i strong armed hades into giving me 3 heroes from the underworld to get her back but they were actually terrible and i forget how she was actually saved but bottom line is that you wish you were my fifth grade class

[nefertitie]

this wasn’t little either, we used the town hall and we wore togas and shit

[trajans]

me as demeter

some lines (this was a joint effort of a bunch of greek-savvy 10/11 year olds):

athena: ‘im the goddess of wisdom but you don’t notice me telling everyone. i’m too smart for that’

-

aphrodite: is zeus chasing some mortal woman again?

athena: no this time he and hera have gone for marriage counselling

-

athena: we can ask hades to let them out of the underworld to help

aphrodite: he’ll never agree, he’s such a deadly bore (we made a fucking pun im so angry)

-

demeter: hades wont pick up. he’s too busy torturing the dead in tartarus

-

hades: i can’t undo the laws of death. just think of the paperwork.

-

aphrodite: the humidity is messing up my hair. it’s getting all frizzy

athena: is that all you care about?

aphrodite: no, it’s also messing up my dress

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demeter: it’s so dark, and there aren’t any trees or flowers

hades: what do we need trees for, everybody’s dead

- 

paris: yeah, and i can shoot straight! isn’t that right, achilles?

-

(hades enters)

paris: who are you? do we know you?

-

achilles: im mighty achilles

odysseus: im wily odysseus

paris: and im hungry paris

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kronos: i really am awesome, aren’t i

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aeton: one wrong move and you’re history

odysseus: fool! we already are history!

-

demeter: where are those mortals? i left them right there.

athena: are you sure? this isnt the first time you’ve lost someone.

[why-try-whenyoucanhavecookies]

I suddenly have the need for the entire screenplay, and to direct it at my college.

[hobbitsetal]

@teashoesandhair

[teashoesandhair]

These are funnier than literally any retelling I have ever done and I’m not even mad about it.

[moreolympus]

op can we please have the whole screenplay

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[micdotcom]

Watch: Comedian Aamer Rahman’s explainer of reverse racism is still requisite viewing.

Especially considering the astounding number of Americans who think “reverse racism” is a real problem.

[browngirlsgang]

I have to say this is my go to response for ppl crying reverse racism

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[niggazinmoscow]

This thread is the purest form of girls having girls backs.

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[tarathefeminist]

My Twitter did a thing

[chauvinistsushi]

“take an art class and get depressed” got me fucked up rn

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[n0rma1-people-sxare-me]

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

[fitzefitcher]

#this is team skull

[its-just-a-phage]

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!”
One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?”
He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!”
Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?”
And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits”
And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

[flowernstt]

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long.
So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.”
Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

A good post, pure.

[casper-the-friendly-being]

Another adorable story has been added.

[de-is-me]

can I have these posted right under the politics section in the newspaper? I feel like we need that kinda positivity rn.

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[altonzm]

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[thirdtimecharmed]

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

[svynakee]

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

[orriculum]

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

[digitalfare]

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

[jamesandlilys]

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

[pajarosdelamancha]

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

[narwhal-noir]

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

[moldychesee]

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

[dixon-arrows]

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

[beckyhop]

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

[memesandshipsgalore]

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

[onceuponamirror]

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

[jumpingjacktrash]

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

[piedude]

Irish recipes:

[meemimajuri]

Finnish recipes: normal homecooked food but with imported ingredients because nothing grows here (expect like 2 months a year) ‘cause it’s so cold.

[saffalex]

Scottish recipes: Add whisky

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[landscape-photo-graphy]

Photographer Kristina Makeeva Captures What Autumn Looks Like Around Europe Part II

Keep reading

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In 1988, these neo-Nazis disgraced themselves on the “Oprah Winfrey Show”

[the-real-eye-to-see]

She used her platform to expose their ignorance and hate. 

What happened during this hour changed the course of Oprah show history forever.

Oprah says she and her producers believed they would be exposing ignorance and confronting hate, but they were wrong.

That was the show that changed the way Oprah thought about TV and how in should be used for good.

#Neo-Nazis
#OprahWinfrey

[honestlyyoungpersona]